Ayo whattup its ya boy P-Tone aka Thor Molecules aka Volcano Hands aka Cocaine Biceps namsayin. Ya boy is back in the building once again. Yall already kno what it is son. Its that time a year where we honor the softest muthafuckas in the game…the niggas thats so light in the ass that if you kick them they probably float into outer space namsayin. These the muthafuckas that could jus cut the tip of they fingers to pour syrup on ya pancakes for you. These the niggas we recognizin today son. Word is bond yo. You could scratch these niggas witta cotton ball b. Straight up.
Oh wait…my bad son….that one aint her…
Aight here she is yo…
This broad coulda been #1 on this list…but she technically female…so I aint really kno how to approach that shit son. I mean…Tone dont really like no brolic ass chicks neither namsayin. Word n I dont need no broad to be confusin me on some Rah Digga shit neither yo. Dont get me wrong tho…this broad is wack as every single fuck known to man…..but I aint sweatin her softness like that nahmean. That aint the problem son. The problems that she been causin that shit to spread like wildfire yo. Theres even niggas in the industry thats gettin drawn into this bullshit nahmean. Word is bond…I mean…it aint no big shock that the emperor of softness hisself…you might kno the nigga as Aubrey….aka The Kitten Whisperer…jus LOVES her shit son. In the meantime that fool Ricky Ross been talkin in interviews bout how he gon put up 50 Gs to “mess up her whole week” namsayin…cos she was makin jokes bout the nigga bein kinda “chubby” n shit like that. I mean I fucks wit that nigga Rozay’s music namsayin…but I dont wanna see the nigga gettin baited into bickerin wit some 4 ft tall white broad n talkin like he gon have the bitch executed when ey’body kno that that shit aint gon happen. The gods issues wit this muthafucka go a little deeper than jus her music namsayin. This broad gon open up the floodgates for all types a softassnigganess…mainly from white dudes who rock cornrows n braids or trailer park bitches who seen Set it Off one too many times namsayin. Which gon bring us to..
This that wigger brude who rolls wit KREAYSHAWN….jus in case you aint up on all the wackest fake shit out there namsayin. Aint like I wanna give either a these NIGGAS more shine…but that broad KREAYSHAWN gon be a household name regardless yo. Muthafuckas jus love some wack ass shit…so she gon be famous for a hot ass minute son. But this V-Nasty brude probably gon disappear off the map a lot sooner than that yo. This muthafucka is devoid of talent, looks….talent….or anything else that would bring her dumb ass some success namsayin. Listen to her bullshit ass music if you think Im playin son…
When I hear shit like this I jus be thinkin “Wow…this bitch might actually be retarded yo”. If you read the youtube comments you see ratchet ass shit like…
“v’nasty qoesx so hard for a white girl (:”
“Don’t need a pass to say nigga. Shut your bitch mouths you wanna have a word to yourselfs to fucking bad NIGGA! Ill say what I want and im white as fuck. and yes Ill say that straight to yo black face NIGGA”
“Omgee VNasty Be Going Hammmm I Dont Car What NOBODY Says Team V-Nasty
Ayo this jus some ignorant music for soft ass ignorant muthafuckas yo. Get this shit the fuck outta here son.
8. MTV RiFF RaFF
Speakin of white dudes wit cornrows n braids….Nah ya eyes aint deceivin you par…If you aint never hearda this cornball ass muthafucka before its probably cos you dont hang out in trailer parks or search “WACKEST SHIT ON EARTH” on google enough namsayin. Son….we was mad at Vanilla Ice back in the 90s yo. This muthafucka is like the T-1000 version of Vanilla Ice my nigga. Newwww…..Improoooooved Vanilla Ice. I quit. I never thought I was gon see a white boy coon this fuckin hard EVER son. This muthafucka musta been injected wit the blood of Soulja Boy in his sleep yo. Son look like he a failed experiment that was designed by the government to spy on niggas in Magnolia Projectsn n shit….in 1998. The level of wackness this muthafucka capable of could probably make Fubu visors rain from the sky b. This muthafucka could probably cross his arms n blink n have you wearin a G-Unit sweatsuit without you knowin it son. Look at this cracker son…
Not only did this powder coon get a MTV logo tatted on his neck…but he actually got a BET logo n a World Star one to go wit it. On his actual flesh son…FOR. EV. ER. Nah yo…fuck this cracker, fuck his pulse, n fuck his heartbeat….fuck his moms, his kids, his unborn…I dont give a fuck yo. I dont be wishin death upon nobody but this muthafucka need to die son.
This nigga always goin outta his way to make it hard to like him b. Niggas already gave up on tryin to get this muthafucka to stop actin like a damn goupie yo. He gon dickride…whatever I guess. He wanna namedrop still…*shrug*. He wanna throw rocks then hide his hand…hey..what ya gon do rite? Im sayin yo…niggas done FORGAVE this muthafucka for nonstop wack shit b. Word is bond.
I mean…niggas looked the other way when that Change Of Hearts shit footage popped up.
Niggas tried to ignore the fact that son use to rock thongs n strip for doe.
Then the nigga got a butterfly tatted on his damn face….
But somebody musta told the nigga that that shit was mad fruity (SURPRISE NIGGA!)…So he probably got to thinkin “Ayo Imma cover that shit up witta Dodgers logo yo….Dre gon love that shit” But you could still see the butterfly underneath it so son was was like…”Ayo why dont I throw a big ass red star on that too…Dre gon love that shit”. Niggas of course gave that shit a pass too yo. So jus to push his luck a little more..the nigga was like..”Hmmm maybe I should start rockin a red mohawk yo….Dre gon love that shit”. Niggas STILL tried to ignore that shit b. What more does this nigga want from us yo? All that cryin he done did in interviews…the bullshit beefin…squeezin hisself into the picture…jockin niggas styles…SON. Im sayin tho…this emotional ass nigga need to figure his life out.
6. Brandy’s Brother
Ayo Tone does not fuck wit this niggas music one bit son. But apparently he still singin his heart out n tryin to stay relevant yo. This niggas most famous joint is one he did wit Yung Berg….I mean…that shit kinda says it all b. But this nigga got into some kinda squabble wit Fabolous in Vegas a few days ago…before the Mayweather fight. Niggas is sayin he got walloped… meanwhile he sayin he beat Fabs ass down before the nigga went on stage to perform yo. I cant call it cos I wasnt there tho namsayin. All I kno is Brandys brother went on a rampage on the radio n on some video n shit…talmbout he gon send niggas to come rape Fab if he aint apologize by sundown or some shit like that. I dont kno what kinda nigga got rape goons on deck like that…but apparently Brandy related to a nigga who do. Son was basically talkin like he a made nigga tho…jus cos his sister be buyin him mad cars n shit like that. Nigga we get it…ya big sister holdin you down n buyin you all that luxurious shit you cant afford on ya own. Ayo Brandy dont gotta prove nothin else namsayin. She had her run. She good nahmean. But you been doin backstrokes in Lake Mediocre for ya whole career b. Have a seat nigga.
5. Medium Sean
This nigga is a diva son. All this nigga dreams bout is bein famous n havin shiny shit to wear. Thats basically all the nigga talks bout in his songs too. Son that shit is tired yo…….wheels. You been slippin b….eels. I said you slippin b….peels. You sound like a bitch….squeals. Grow up nigga….heels. Niggas dont got time for all that basic ass shit you doin son. You jussa half trick pony yo. Fuckouttahere……….Foxy Brown career.
4. Yung Berg
Ayo the god jus read some shit the other day bout how this nigga done squashed his beef wit Ne-Yo. Lemme repeat that shit for yall muthafuckas one time… I said this nigga jus squashed his beef wit NE-YO son. As in this nigga…
First off…if them two niggas is havin issues wit each other… that aint no beef son. That shit is LAMB. Them two niggas was jus lambin yo. Straight up. Far as what that shit was all bout…I got no fuckin idea son. I dont mean no disrespect to the nigga Ne-Yo…son is what he is. But what more you gon say bout this nigga Berg? Son is a L-caholic my nigga. This niggas been sucklin on the titty of failure for way too long yo. Son aint tryin to pass the torch to the nex nigga at all b. When this nigga sits down in the morning to eat his Alpha-Bits that shit is all L’s son. This niggas failure success rate is off the charts nahmean. Sons kinda like the Hov of wack niggas namsayin.
3. Soulja Boy
Aka the young Wally Amos. Not only is this nigga one a the softest creatures in existence…he probably the stupidest muthafucka to ever set foot on earth too. This coon spit his struggle bars on some wack ass joint called “Let’s Be Real” a little while back…. n his hoe ass had the nerve to actually say “Fuck the FBI and FUCK ALL THE ARMY TROOPS”. Son. “Fuck the FBI”…cool…whatever…but hold up yo. “Fuck all the army troops” b? Like forreal son? Its bad enough that this bojangles ass muthafucka been jugglin chicken drumsticks n watermelons on records for half a damn decade now….but now he wanna get political? This niggas moms mussa fed the muthafucka fried paint chips n dead batteries while he was growin up yo…cos he fuckin beyond stupid yo. Son was definitely an ass birth b.
Aka Wiz Khagina. This lesbian nigga gotta 4th degree black belt in save-ya-ho namsayin. Son done made that shit a artform yo. Any real nigga can tell that this dude is a straight trick tho. This nigga definitely a “carry a bouquet of roses between his teeth while he climb up the fire escape to the crib of a broad he met 2 hours ago to pay her phone bills n vacuum her living room while she at work” type a nigga b. He a lame who jus happens to smoke some weed n got hisself inked up to cover up the fact that he a clown. This nigga probably knows how to do the Charleston n shit son. Son can probably quote Macbeth n shit b. But he gon act like he was a straight hoodlum his whole life yo. This nigga instagrammed his whole existence son. I need this nigga to fix hisself asap yo. That Amber Rose rescue aint really help nothin tho. Ayo Wiz…why cant you be more like ya brother Spitta?
As in ey’body in Young Money that aint Jae Millz, Cory Gunz or Mack Maine…jus to clarify that shit. But the rest a these muthafuckas is like the X-Men of soft ass muthafuckas son. Yall already kno that nigga Drake is the human electric slide b. This the type a cornball ass nigga who pulls up in the McDonalds drive thru to order a smile wit his meals nahmean. When he aint craftin summa the most bitchmade songs known to man he probably spends his time twirlin round in prairies n braiding blades of grass together to make clothes for wild animals n stupid shit like that yo. Nigga probably swings his window shutters open in the morning n has birds n squirrels crawlin up his curtains while he sings songs to them n shit. You might catch that nigga in the forest playin a harp or sumthin namsayin. Son probably got pictures on his walls of miniature babies sittin in fruit bowls n sproutin from gardens n shit like that. That muthafucka mussa got bit by a radioactive butterfly one day namsayin. Word is bond. Ayo son…there aint a number invented by man that could count how many times I felt like slappin the shit outta a nigga for sayin that Nicki Minaj got talent b. All I kno is I need that broad to get 5000% the fuck outta here son. And them Lil Twist n Chuckee muthafuckas is barely outta diapers b. These niggas still use bibs n sippy cups yo. Young Money might be the only label that got a jungle gym in they offices b. Then you got that nigga Tyga…who’s jus a straight crumpet muthafucka son. That nigga probably holds his hands over his mouth when he laughs yo. That 27 lb muthafucka look like he crawls round on mountains followin Sam n Frodo on his spare time son. Ayo but somebody explain to me what Gudda Gudda’s purpose in life is b. Gudda is the most dead weight nigga in any crew since Meeno was in Harlem World yo. That muthafucka makes City Spud n Murphy Lee seem like Beans n Free. Did this nigga save Weezy’s life or some shit b? Speakin of that nigga… That brings us to the gardener of wackness hisself yo…Weezy “Fenomenal” Baby. Ayo son…you was rhymin like a fuckin moron on ya last album b…I cant lie yo. But that shit still had some decent joints on it. So the god aint gon pretend like he bout to stop listenin to ya shit. But you need to drop like 87% of the muthafuckas you been signin to ya label b. I see you still makin wack moves tho…cos you jus signed coon extraordinaire T-Pain. Ayo I give up son. Get these McNiggas the fuck outta here par.
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